


Oh My God, They Were Roommates

by voidchivk



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, The crossover fic we all need, it's toit, so many shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 18:16:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15030464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidchivk/pseuds/voidchivk
Summary: After Peter Parker finds himself in need of an apartment, he actually gets a stroke of luck with finding a roommate: Jake Peralta, of the NYPD. What happens when the two met? Well, for lack of better phrase, its "toit"Notes: This takes place before Amy and Jake started living together (for obvious reasons) and the Spider-man is in his 20sInspired partly on that tumblr post from transpeter "imagine one day spidey is held up by the new york city police department, and he's expecting the same old bullshit of "this stupid spider menace vigilante blah blah blah" like the cops in queens always say to him, but instead he's met with a 30 year old brooklyn cop who is less concerned with peter being a vigilante, and is mroe concerned with peter's powers. he won't stop asking peter about his spider powers, how they work, how he got them, how he would rate them on a scale of "cool" to "toit"and finally peter gets a word in edgewise and is like "not that this isn't refreshing compared to the way the police usually treat me, but what kinda cop are you again??" and the cop is all like "i'm actually a detective, jake peralta from the 99th precinct, anyways can you summon an army of spider is that just a rumor??"





	Oh My God, They Were Roommates

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo
> 
> So, I'm back writing again. Technically, I was back editing first because I went through and fixed up the first half of my work "Miraculous Spider-man". But this has been an idea I've really wanted to explore for a long time now. I'm not promising anything long, maybe about 4 chapters max, but I'm hoping its something other people will enjoy. I'm trying my best to properly represent all the characters in this, so if anyone is ever too OCC, please let me know. Also, I write without a beta, so please be forgiving of a messed up word here and there.
> 
> Okay, so for the version of Spider-man used it's kinda an combination of a bunch of different versions. He's an older Spider-man, with experience, but still a vigilante. As for brooklyn 99, the big things is that Jake and Amy are just dating, not engaged or married, because otherwise why would Jake need a roommate? 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this. Thanks!

**PETER**

Things were, well, not going so well for Peter. After his last apartment had been destroyed by Rhino (how was it just his luck that out of all the apartments he could have thrown Rhino into, it HAD to be his own), Peter desperately needed a new place to stay. So, he turned to the most reliable source he could think of: Craigslist. He was browsing through the site as he and his girlfriend, MJ, met up for lunch at the Shake shack in Brooklyn 

"Tiger, you know I love you unconditionally, but are you sure using Craigslist to find an apartment is the best course of action?" Mary Jane was obviously concerned that Peter was making a mistake, but considering he fought crime in a pair of red and blue underoos, it was safe to stay Peter had already made a big mistake a long time ago.

"Look, MJ, it's not like I have a lot of options. I just got out of NYU so I still need to pay off my student loans, J Jonah Jameson has been stingy lately so I haven't gotten as big of paycheck from them, and I'm still looking to find a science research facility willingly to hire a guy fresh out of college with no experiences that he can put on a resume without raising questions." As he took a sip from his second milkshake (look, having a fast metabolism was tough, okay?), Peter found one that might be promising.

"Okay, check out this" -he paused to make sure he didn't mess up the dude's name- "Matt Murdock guy. He's got a place in Hell's Kitchen, which you and I both know is a pretty ridden area, so that's a plus. And, bonus, he's blind!"

Mary Jane rolled her eyes. "How is him being _blind_ a bonus?"

"Because, it means if I was to show up injured or bloodied, he'd never know! Even better, I could stroll around the place in my suit and he'd be none the wiser. Okay, this could work." Peter kept scrolling, and a frown appeared on his face. "Oh damn, nevermind, it says he's a lawyer, which means he probably actually is super observant or he could sue my ass if he found out I'm- you know who." He had to correct himself in the end, almost forgetting he was in public.

"So, then, Lord Voldemort"  (MJ was obviously mocking his choice of words) "tell me why you can't just stay in my apartment?" 

Peter sighed as he tried to steal some of MJ's fries. "You know how Aunt May is, she's a bit... old fashioned about these things. I think the idea of a couple leaving together before marriage would give her a heart attack, and the last thing I want to do is add more stress into her life. Besides, your apartment is too small, we'd be in each others space constantly. You'd get tired of me in like a week."

"Oh Tiger," Mary Jane placed her hand on Peter's, affectionately. "Give yourself credit, it would probably take you a week and half to drive me up the walls." 

"Aw, babe, I love you too." With this display of emotion over with, he went back to browsing Craigslist. It was safe to stay that Mary Jane still wasn't on board with the whole thing.

"There's nothing but crazy people on that site, Peter. You're gonna end up tied up in a basement somewhere all because you refused to go to your friends for help."

Peter held up one finger. "First, there's not just crazy people on this site, I'm on here too."

"You're not helping your case."

"Fair point. Two, I don't want to stay in Avengers tower full time, there's only so much nonsense I can handle. I mean, I love the team, but it trying when every game of Monopoly ends in an all out battle with at least three people injured and Hawkeye missing for a week."

Mary Jane thought hard for a second, trying to think of other people they knew would be willingly to room with Peter. "What about Johnny Storm? The two of you are like best friends?"

"I love Johnny like a brother and he has offered to let me crash there, but he has on several occasions referred to his apartment as "The Mating Den" and I want no part of that." 

"I'm not sure whether I should be happy that you turned that down that offer or concerned because this is your best friend."

Before Peter could answer Mary Jane, he found another possible roommate. "Okay, check out this dude. His name is Wade Wilson, his relationship recently ended "abruptly and suddenly", which is why he needs another roommate. He's already got one roommate named "Blind Al" , so bonus points for that whole blind thing again. They're looking for another person to help with rent, since the price of," Peter had to do a double take, "bullets has been going up? Oh, and also he's been, let me make sure I read this right, "been traveling to exotic places, Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jackson, meeting new and exciting people and... killing them." And he likes chimichangas." Peter looked up from the screen, defeated. "Yup, that settles it, this ad is probably Deadpool, so I'm gonna be a hard pass on this one."

"You're not helping your case that its more than just crazy people on Craigslist."

"Come on, babe, Deadpool's like the exception to every rule. You know he like thinks that we're all living in some fanfic. Like, at least make it believable and say like, I dunno, a comic book." Looking up from the screen, Peter's eyes met MJ's. "Do you honestly think this is a bad idea?"

"Would I look for a roommate on Craigslist? No. But do I understand that you're desperate? Yes. My advise is to go out in the REAL WORLD and try to find someone so you make sure you don't end up with like Deadpool. Give it like 24 hours and if there's no look, then go back to Craigslist."

God, what had he done to deserve MJ? She was like, a solid ninety five percent of his common sense. "What did I to get so lucky with you?"

"Face it Tiger, you hit the Jackpot." Mary Jane's smirk as was broken by the sound of sirens in the area. Peter chugged the rest of his shake, inhaled his burger, and gave MJ a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"Love you, MJ, but duty calls." He gave a mock salute as he ran off into the nearest alley to go change into his webs. With his mask firmly secure, Spidey went out to see what all the commotion was. Who knows, it could even led him to his new roommate. 

 

\\\/\/\//

**JAKE**

The superhero cases were, without a doubt, Jake's favorite ones. So, when he heard the Shocker was engaging in a battle Spider-man (yeah, that's right, THE Spider-man) in Brooklyn, Jake was all over that shit. He could barely contain his excitement as him and Amy headed out to the fight.

"Ames, what if I get to see Spider-man? No, no, no, what if I get to speak to Spider-man? No, no, no, what if I exchange contact information with Spider-man and the two of us become best friends and watch Die Heart together?"

Amy Santiago, his partner and love of his life, sighed as she drove the car. "Look, I get that you like Spider-man and all, but just remember at the end of the day, he IS a vigilante, and is breaking the law. So, if the opportunity presents itself, we WILL have to detain him and bring him back to the precinct."

"Yeah, I know, it's that he's literally the coolest hero out there. Like, there's superheroes, and then there's Spider-man. Here, let me put it this way Amy, the way I feel about Spider-man is the way you feel about Captain Holt."

"You admire him greatly and want to please him?"

"I would literally cut off my right arm if Spider-man asked me to, no questions asked."

"Well one that lovely note, let me change the topic. Have you found a roommate yet?"

Ah, there it was, the topic of the hour. Yeah, Jake really, really, really needed a roommate, but so far, everyone who he had talked was either not interested or crazy. Or both, like that one dude who showed up in black and red spandex who after being in his apartment for less than two minutes had decided it "wasn't an acceptable place to hide 116 kilos of cocaine and the cure for blindness" and he was "better off in Blind Al's shit hole anyway." Honestly, Jake was pretty glad that particular one didn't work out. Still, he silently hoped soon he found one, so he could be spared of Amy's constant nagging about it. 

"No, I haven't. I dunno, people keep getting scared off when I mention my towels-" Amy cut him off. "We both know your towels are not suppose to be grey."

"Yeah, I still don't see the problem there, but that's besides the point. Look, I really need to find someone soon. I'm desperate Amys. I still can't believe that my landlord increased my rent, and with all the outstanding debt I had, another person around would really make things easier. I've even started dropping my sandwiches on the floor so I can get them for free and money is still tight. I'm even considering go on like, I dunno, Craigslist, and put out an ad to find a roommate."

"Babe, I love you, but that is one of the dumbest ideas you've ever had, and I've seen your presentation on sham-paste."

"You still haven't destroyed my belief that one day, a shampoo toothpaste crossover is possible."

Ignoring the awful repercussions of such a production, Amy pulled the car into park. "Whatever, we've arrived at the scene."

Jake got out of the car, and the scene before him was something straight out of, well, a comic book. Spider-man was doing sweet flips all around the Shocker, making quips left and right. The fight was obviously winding down, with Spider-man CLEARLY holding the upper arms. Shocker was getting tired, and his moves were getting sloppier and sloppier. One of his attempts to hit Spider-man veered to the left, and would have hit Jake head on if Spider-man hadn't webbed him and pulled him out of the way. "Hey, civilian, I would hate it if we let Shocker  _shock_ you with attack." Spider-man then turned back to the villain in question, and with one strong punch, knocked him out.

Jake turned to Amy. "Oh my god did you see that? Spider-man saved my life!" He paused for dramatic effect. "I can die happy now."

With a roll of her eyes, Amy jerked her head (oh it was always so cute when she did that) towards the battle scene. "Uh, Jake, shouldn't we do our job?"

"Oh, yeah, our job." He paused and collected himself. "Yo, uh Spidey."

Spider-man, having webbed Shocker up to a nearby pole, turned and walked back to Jack. "Uh, yeah, what's up dude? You want an autograph?"

The sound that came out of Jake was not one that should have came out of a man in his 30s. He nodded his head vigorously, the moment happening just like he imagined it in his dreams. Accepting the fact that her boyfriend would be no help to her, Amy took over the situation. 

"I'm Detective Santiago with the NYPD, and you're gonna need to come with us." Amy said, as she slapped a pair of handcuffs onto Spider-man's wrist.

"God, it's so sexy when you put handcuffs onto another man." There was an awkward silence for everyone who unfortunately heard Jake say that. "I promise, that did NOT sound that bad in my head." 

 

With her hand still grasped on the cuffs, Amy scanned the scene before her. She then turned back to Jake, with pursued lips. "Jake, you've got this right? I should stay and make sure Shocker gets processed properly, so do you think you can handle taking Spider-man back to the Precinct?"

The whites of Spider-man eyes expanded, which was totally cool and definitely on the list of top ten things Jake had ever seen. Jake guessed it was because of panic, especially after Spider-man said, "Oh hey, no need to take me back to the Precinct, I promise I'll be a good little Spider-man and head back to Queens, no questions asked."

"Look, Spider-man, despite all the good work you do for this city, you still are a vigilant. So, as detectives for the NYPD, it is our duty to take you into custody."

Spider-man tried to raise his hand, but was only able to half do so because of the handcuffs. "Do I, uh, get a vote in this?"

"No, you don't."Amy shot back. She ignored whatever efforts Spider-man was about to make as she addressed Jake. "If you don't think you can-" Jake cut her off.

"I would hate to rob you of any paper work, which is a statement I sincerely mean. Don't worry, we'll be fine. Catch you on the flippy flip, babe."

With that, Jake and Spider-man made their way over the car, and then the two began a car ride that would be unlike any other.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'll try to have the next chapter up within this week. I honestly have no clue what my schedule is right now so I'll try my best. Thanks again for reading and if you liked it, feel free to leave kudos and comments. They both mean a lot to me!
> 
> Also, quick shoutout to Des98 who also wrote a fic inspired on this post. If you want to see a finished, one-shot version of the same prompt while you wait for me to update, you should go and check it out!


End file.
